My Dearest Friends and Neighbors, Let us all say together now, Thank Ye Jimbo! You truley have a friend in Jimbo! He will not ask for money. Instead, he will offer his prize possession! I had this great idea for a tour update and now I forgot. What do you expect, for free, on the internet? The best ramblings on the internet. I am writing this while watching the movie 'What About Bob?'. It is truly a great movie. Bill Murray Rules..."Well, you're the one drawing all the dirty pictures!" That's what Bill Murray says in the movie when doing the psychiatric test involving ink blot pictures. I've never met him. But, never drop names. DeNiro told me that. Ya'll is a good word. We played tonight in Bloomington, Indiana. It was really fun to have our own show in the middle of our other tour. Several people called out for "Love Whip". We played it. Thanks for requesting a song that I still know. But, I'm getting off the track here. Ya'll... "You guys" leaves out the girls. "Ladies and gentlemen" is too formal. Ya'll includes everybody! Howdy ya'll! Ya'll is a good word! Or phrase or whatever. Let's talk Texan. Talking Texan requires one important thought. Hard R's. You have to hear me say hard r's to truly know what I'm talking about. But, for you more advanced 'let's talk Texans', remember this and say it repeatedly, "The bar's retired from Randys' list of waterin' holes." .Or this...say Arlington...except...say it this way - Ar..(with the hard r)...ling ( just like wing, clear and crisp). Now try again except this time stay on that r in Ar a hair longer. Remember to pronounce 'ton' like 'tun'. In Texas, we're gunslingers and story tellers, so, we can't talk too slow. So, don't drawl it out too long. I have some friends in Dallas who can tell the best stories about Texas history, punk-rock history, and tall tales in general in the Texas dialect. Remember the Alamo. I've got a few stories about Texas myself, but, we'll get to those on another 'tour update'. Thank God for Tennessee. Texas would be Mexico if it weren't for people from Tennessee. Uh oh, here I go with Texas history. Davey Crockett suppossedly was wearing a gentlemens' derby when he crossed the Texas state line - not a coon-skin cap. But, God love Davey Crockett. And all of those brave fellows he brought with him from Tennessee. I love the movie 'The Alamo'. There is a great song called "The Ballad of the Alamo" that is in that movie and on the soundtrack that is awesome. This song tells the story of the battle of the Alamo. It's sung by Marty Robbins. Marty Robbins Rules! I know I say that about everybody. Anyway, about 185 Texan defenders fought off 5000 Mexican soldiers for almost two weeks before they were over-taken and killed. It is truly amazing how brave Col. Travis, Jim Bowie, and all the rest must have been to do this. More Texas stuff in later up-dates. Speaking of brave, let's talk about the Nature Boy. Americas' formost truck-stop knick-knack shopper. The guy in the band most likely to be named after "Braveheart"(William Wallace). Nature Boy Jimbo Wallace. This guy has some funny tastes sometimes. Really good taste, but, sometimes un-predictable. Somtimes a song will come on the radio and we'll be listening right along and Jimbo will say something under his breath like, "I really hate this song". And it's funny because all of the sudden you say to yourself, "yeah, I know what he means, this song does bite hard and I never really paid attention before Jimbo said something!" But, then, Jimbo will suprise you with something like, "you know, I really do like Karen Carpenters' voice." At least you can tell that he's thinking about stuff. Anyway, the other night, Jimbo was showing me this book by Carl Sagan. Pictures of Neptune and Mars and telling me this really cool stuff that was doing my head! Billions and billions of things...right? Anyway, it was totally Jimbo. It was funny. So, then, Jimbo got all of these books out! I told him that we had to start Jimbos' Bookclub. So check it out. Here's Jimbos' current "recommended". This may be an official part of out website very soon. Jimbos' Bookclub 'Pale Blue Dot' by Carl Sagan 'Murder in Brentwood' by Mark Fuhrman 'The A to Z Encyclopedia of Serial Killers' by Harold Schechter and David Everiit 'DHEA - A Practical Guide' by Ray Sahelian, M.D. 'Alien Contact - Top-Secret UFO Files Revealed' by Timothy Good 'The Matter Myth - Dramatic Discoveries That Challenge Our Understanding of Physical Reality' by Paul Davies and John Gribbin Drag Racer Magazine 'Mars and Venus In The Bedroom - The Guide To Lasting Romance And Passion' by John Gray, Ph.d. Swing Time Magazine Tactical Knives Magazine Double Bassist Magazine 'Outrage - The Five Reasons Why O.J. Simpson Got Away With Murder' by Vincent Bugliosi 'Moon Shot' by Alan Shepard and Deke Slayton 'Spawn' Comic by Todd McFarlane 'The Big Book of Losers' by Paul Kirchner 'American Handgunner 1997 Annual' 'The Motley Fool Investment Guide' by David & Tom Gardner I think it would be interesting if maybe once a month, Jimbo would recommend one book, magazine, or comic. Then, just like Oprah, discuss the it with a studio audience on national T.V. Just like Oprah! Except he'ld be discussing 'American Handgunner 1997 Annual'. Jimbo getting the big bucks! Yes! Oh, that reminds me of the time Scott Churilla was going to have "Be My Friend Magazine". I'm going to make these guys publishers before long. We'll have more to say about Scott Churilla on the next update, but for now, I'll just tell you that he's driving out new bus driver, Art, crazy playing AC-DC for three hours straight on the bus. Scott says, "AC-DC is the lawn-mower and all other bands are grass!" Let there be rock. More Scott soon - he's very funny too. Well, back to the tour up-date. Columbus... The Bloodhound Gang took the stage naked. They called the people down. The cops, who were very up-tight about the crowd moving up-close (it was assinged seating which is really no fun for rock music), almost arrested them and told us that we would get arrested if we called the people down. Well, right when we started playing, the stampede to the front happened anyway and nobody got arrested. Heck, I didn't say anything! It's hard to stop a good time waiting to happen. I didn't have to get naked either. But, that would have started the stampede the other way! Whose the one drawing dirty pictures now? Adios Ya'll, Jim "Revernd Horton" Heat