Howdy From Texas (well, Ohio), Welcome to a new tour update! Nothing is really memorable right now because I've knocked back a few St. Pauli Girls and I'm ready to barf I think. Remembering is hard when you're about to barf. Well, you're getting this for free over the Internet, so, what do expect? I've worn the bad luck disco shirt for every show of this "ROAR" tour, and, it smells really bad. "Skoal" is sponsoring this tour. Since I just quit cigarettes after more than ten years, I figured those tobacco fellas owed me something. So, at least my bad luck disco shirt doesn't smell like cigarette smoke, and, I'm making my money back after all those stupid years with PhillMo, R.J., and others (Ligget). Where is this going? Who cares?!? It's free over the internet! I have a lot to say about cigarettes. First off...when I go in to a restaurant, they ask me "smoking or non-smoking?" I always say, "It doesn't matter." This is why. When I used to smoke, I was always imagining how badly I smelled. I really believed that all those 'good non-smokers' must be offended at my breath, at the stench of my clothes, my very 'smoking' demeanor. I thought that when I was in the corner by the window, that, my 'obligatory every fifteen minute cigarette' was ruining these people. Making their world a living hell. Killing their childrens' kids with my secondary smoke! In a word - guilt. But, now, I haven't had a cigarette for one year (well...almost). And, after not having smoked for a year, I was waiting for that sensation that all the self-righteous non-smokers feel when they smell that awful stench of someone lighting up in the non-smoking section. Here's what I notice about smokers. I don't even notice that they just lit a cigarette at my table where I'm eating! I don't notice if someone lights up in a car with me! I've caught myself thinking, "Wow, this person is putting out this cigarette in this car and I didn't even notice him smoke it in the first place!" So, my advise to all the non-smoking, holier than thou secondary smokers is to stop bitching. It's un-becoming. When they ask, "smoking or non-smoking?", say, "It doesn't matter." Unless of course you are the guilty smoker whose lot in life it will always be to say, "smoking". I lost my father to cigarettes so it is an emotional issue with me. I had to quit. I used "the patch" (more on this later). However, I still have to say that the whole issue is over-rated. Just like the issue of drunk driving. What we really need to be concerned with in this country (U.S.A.) is aggressive driving. When you examine the driving history of any driver who has killed someone while driving drunk, you will find that they had many previous driving citations for speeding, running traffic lights, and all sorts of things besides drunk driving. Why was this person on the road? Because in our MADD society, we are looking at drunk driving as being the worst thing in the world. So, if you get pulled over for doing 89 in a 40, and you're not drunk, you just get a ticket. This person was never pegged as an "aggressive driver". So, in our society, aggressive driving is just a ticket and drunk driving is like breaking the Ten Commandments. Our legal system is missing the point. This is what I think...There is nothing more dangerous than an aggressive driver. A drunk driver is more likely to be a safe driver than an aggressive driver. I want to start DADA - "Drunks against driving aggressively". Seriously, drunk driving is wrong. But, people are dying because some guy gets away with 38 speeding tickets and no one says anything until he kills someone while he's doing 25 m.p.h.- drunk. Where is this leading? Who cares? It's free over the Internet! C'mon people! Race car drivers do not drive aggressive when they are cruising their neighborhood. Cruise! Be careful! I love Hot Rods but maybe Kustoms are Koolest. Cruise!!! Back to the tour update. I just ask Scott "Free" Churilla what would be the most memorable thing about the first week of this tour and he said, "the way Iggy threw his microphone stand and hit the roadie square in the chest and brought him to his knees". Odd... I was just thinking that the most memorable thing was that I didn't get hit by Iggys' mic stand! Or maybe I could make something up like, "yeah, Iggy threw an artificial limb at me!" Or maybe that Henry Rollins is a very nice person who is, yes, very intense, and well, superman. This guy is really blowing to hell the "rock star stereotype". I appreciate that, since, I need that stuff real bad due to the fact that I'm an old rocker who needs every encouragement that I can get stereotype. Really though, Henry was a "real" person. Not skinny. Not into drugs. Very healthy. Thinks things through. Still scary. Tells the people - "don't talk about it - do it". Not many underlying meanings here. Underlying meaning is shit compared to something with up-front "real" meanings. Thanks to Henry Rollins for being such a great guy. But, he still scares the hell out of me! Henry is really into Iggy Pop. The connection is obvious. You can get Iggys' book through Henrys' bookstore. It's free on the internet! Well the order form is. Other than that there is not much that I can say except that Henry is not on this "Skoal" or "ROAR" tour. He just did hat one show. Sponge is on the tour and they're kicking ass. It must be great to have two hit songs. Hell, it must be great to have one hit song! Jimbo just took my picture with some little camera called an Elph. We'll have to put it on the website...not! Well, that gets me back to my old friend Jimbo. "Nature Boy Jimbo Wallace". "Americas' foremost truckstop nick-knack shopper". I just asked Jimbo what is most memorable for him from the first week of this tour and he had this look on his face that I most suredly understand. To Jimbo, every minute is important. So, that was a hard question for Jimbo. He remembers everybody. Jimbo does not "condense". If he said 'yes' , then, he would also be leaving someone out. Jimbo and myself are two very distinctly different people, yet, very similar at the same time. I am often envious at the way Jimbo handles situations. Everyone loves Jimbo. He has so many great 'sayings'. If someone asks Jimbo if he wants to smoke some pot, he always - for years now, says the same thing, "I'm smarter than that!" Jimbo is no hippie! But, he is truly as friendly as a person can be. He's the guy in the band most likely to ride up on his bicycle carrying a six-pack. Now that's not driving aggressively! So here we go with the rest of the update. The guys are going crazy already. But, I just discovered tonight that Maceo Parker rules. He was James Browns' sax guy. Kind of like the band 'Trouble Funk'. Check it out. Cleveland is truly a "Rock Mecca". Listen to the Cramps. Uh oh, I think the guys are playing Frampton in the front lounge. Buy us beer! I'll bet you ten dollars that it is not your birthday! Friends, you just can't get rambling that's that good anywhere else except on the Internet. So...more rambling...Probably one of the funniest shows of any tour that I've ever done was on this current tour that we're doing. It was in Toronto. The venue was huge to say the least. Capacity-probably 15,000. The ticket price was eighteen (Canadian) to get in the theme park 'Wonderland', then, another eighteen to get in the Iggyspongereverendtonicskoaltour. There were about forty people. Maybe the crowd grew to 89 when Iggy Pop took the stage! Iggy Pop is the real deal! He churns so hard! He's totally ripped! And there he was, out-doing all of us and doing it for the hundred just as hard as when he was in front of thirty thousand two nights before. The guy is the real deal, friends. More on Iggy later as the tour progresses. Back to this particular gig. Awful planning. Thirty six dollars to get in? There were more people back stage than in the audience! Funny! I called them 'soccer hooligans'. Well that's the tour update for now. Keep cruizin'! Reverend Horton Heat p.s. Whitey and Pete with Iggy Pop are really cool. You must see Iggy. A legend still in his prime. Thanks again friends and neighbors.