From Oklahoma

Howdy From Oklahoma,

Hey, people are really friendly here. Not to say they aren’t anywhere else, but, ya gotta love OKC. I walked into some restaurant — somewhere up north — and this waitress said, “Can I help you?” I said, “Yes, I’d like to have lunch.” To which she said, “Well I guess that’s obvious.” I thought, “very funny.” Then she said that I would have to wait five minutes. There was no one else waiting. There were tables available. Fine Then she asked, “Smoking or nonsmoking?” I answer, “Either one, or, whatever is fastest please.” She snaps, “Well, it’s still going to be a five minute wait before I can seat you.” Then someone else walked in and she really pushed me aside and told them that they could have a table any minute! She wasn’t trying to be funny! But, I just stepped aside and just grinned. And then she did actually seat me first, so to me, it was all just funny. In Oklahoma, people would not do that. They really are friendly here. What is it about me? I think I know the answer — I’m a freak of nature. Ha Ha. Last night was Omaha. The wonderful Ranch Bowl. I didn’t get to bowl this time, but, I heard Stephen bowled 155-something. It was Stephen’s birthday. You know Stephen — the hardest working man in show biz. It was fun as usual. Thanks for the gig.
There’s a place in Dallas called the Bronco Bowl. It’s fun. I’ve seen some great concerts there. I saw Brian Setzer there this year, and it was one
of the best sounding concerts I’ve ever heard. Some Dallas rich guy* built this concert hall/bowling alley for Jane Mansfield back in the fifties. Which is funny because, could Jane Mansfield fill a three thousand capacity hall? And, doing what — singing? I think this guy just had a crush on her. She sang on the opening night. I’ll bet that was something. Anyway, thanks to this guy’s silly crush, we Dallasites are lucky enough to have the wonderful and classy Bronco Bowl. Thanks for the gig.
*Don’t believe everything you read on this website.

OK. Here’s today’s buy and sell recommendations.
Buy – Friendly Oklahomans, Oklahomarians, Oklahomites, Okla-hommies whatever

Sell – Rude hostesses

Buy – Those wrestling masks that Los Straitjackets sell at their gigs

Sell – Somebody, somewhere in the world today, are saying these words, “Dude, let’s start a metal/rap band!”

Buy – Warren Buffet/Berkshire Hathaway class B

Sell – Phony rock-and-roll attitudes.

Buy – Anything cool that’s from the fifties, which is just about everything as far as I’m concerned. Cars. Refrigerators. Microphones. Ashtrays. Anything with an “atomic” style.

Sell – Musical instrument endorsements. Getting one isn’t that cool.

Buy – Bands who own their own van and trailer and who drive coast to coast playing gigs. These bands are dangerous in a good way.

Sell – Bands who don’t want to have to go tour small clubs for fifteen years. So, they think they need some record label. Ha Ha. It’s a tough world isn’t it?

Buy – Teaching kids to play golf. It’s a great way to teach kids they utter joy of sportsmanship.

Sell – Snotty private golf clubs and smart-ass country club brats.

Buy – People who try to have some manners.

Sell – The way aggressive drivers have taken over Dallas freeways.

Buy – Cruising down the freeway at fifty-five miles per hour in a custom ’49 to ’51 Ford — mines a fifty. But, not in the passing lane. In three days, I’m there.

Thanks for the gig,
Jim “Reverend Horton Heat” Heath